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The day Dream Theater died

Less than 24 hours ago, Dream Theater, my favorite band, died. No, not Lynyrd Skynyrd style, but they might as well have for being such douchebags.

Apparently Mike Portnoy, their drummer, architect and leader decided it was time for an extended break. Apparently the other four somehow missed the fact that the Beatles, Phish, Megadeth, Metallica and many other bands either stopped touring or simply took extended hiatuses. So Mike did the mature thing and quit.

This would not be as surprising if it weren’t such an idiotic move. We know James is a diva at heart and Myung hardly ever talks, so no surprise there. Petrucci without guitar is like Thor without a hammer, disarmed.

I gotta thank Jordan Rudess though for being so mature and open about the whole thing.Thank you!

Resume gripe mode… Seriously guys, who’s given the most interviews, given the most insight into Dream Theater, basically always stayed behind to do so much more while you were doing who knows what? Mike. Who kept you in line while LaBrie oiled his throat? Mike. The Johns were nothing before Mike and may soon be little more.

Way to dump on everything he’s done! Just be glad that unlike Keith Moon or John Bonham he’s not dead (yet).

And last but not least, how dare you retain the name? There was no Dream Theater before Mike and there will be none without him. It’ll just be another Van Hagar, Alcaholica or Who?!?.

Do make that album. Maybe you’ll reconsider once us grown men in your audiences have been replaced by juggalos, or, worse yet, fainting bimbos!